Thursday, October 15, 2009


I have this weird hangup from childhood. Thanks to my sister, who has an amazing head of hair, I cannot stand hair once it has removed itself from the source.

Let me illustrate further. I have thick hair. Like, the kind of hair on which my stylist always comments, "Wow, you have a lot of hair, don't you!" Yep. That's why the floor is covered. And why my head feels about 3 pounds lighter. Thank you very much!

But my sister - now SHE has a mane. Almost inhumanly thick. When we were little, and we played "beauty parlor", I couldn't get her hair into an updo, because it was too heavy. And people with a lot of hair -guess what?!- they lose a lot of hair! We had a hardwood floor in our bedroom, and I have a very distinct memory of vacuuming that floor. When I'd get to the area in front of the mirror, where she combed her hair in the morning, the floor appeared to move, so much hair was being sucked into the vacuum. Hair was everywhere - in all the drains, in the washcloth in the kitchen sink...everywhere.

But it's not like the rest of us were bald. My parents informed me of this in a conversation when I moved back in with them for the summer before Aaron and I got married.

Me: I was so happy to have my own bathroom! At least I knew that the hair on the floor was my own.
Mom: Yeah - and we didn't have any hair on the floor.


After getting married, Aaron took on the task of cleaning out our shower drain, because it practically made me gag. Yes, even though it was almost entirely my own hair.

And now? There's this aftereffect of pregnancy that is just lovely. You've probably heard that your hair gets thicker and fuller during pregnancy, right? Well, that's because you don't lose the hair that you normally would. It just hangs out on your scalp, waiting for....oh, about 4 months after you've had the baby, to drop out en masse. But not really, because the hair loss continues for several weeks.

Even Aaron noticed. He noticed because all of a sudden he was cleaning out the shower drain every other day, instead of once a month.

Because I have an issue with hair, I generally make it part of my getting-ready-for-the-day-routine to remove as many loose strands as possible. And lately that process has added about 5 minutes to my morning routine. And those are a precious five minutes when you are trying to get yourself plus 3 children out the door on time. Sometimes 5 minutes is the difference between breakfast or starving, feeding the baby or waiting until dropping of the kindergartner, putting a hat & mittens on the brother or telling yourself that he'll just be sitting in the van anyway...

Thanks a LOT, hormones. The next morning I'm hungry, Adam's hungry, and Ben's freezing, I'm blaming YOU.


Da Godfather said...

Set your alarm clock ten minutes earlier.

Noel said...

For hair on the floor, a Roomba might automatically take care of it for you.

My solution to hair in the shower is (a) my own shower at home and (b) housekeeping at LaQuinta in Moline.

So with a robot and a maid, I think you are covered as a 21st century mom.

Lyz said...

I'll take one maid, stat.

Godfadda - Do not even get me STARTED on what 10 extra minutes of SLEEP means to me at this point.

Beth R+V said...

I have a terrible habit of pulling out the loose strands of hair while I shower and sticking them against the wet shower wall. But you know what? It keeps some of it from going down the drain - as long as you remember to twirl it up into a little ball and throw it out at the end of the shower! My hubby gets a little grossed out when I forget that little step...

Noel said...

Ah, so Lyz prefers a humanoid form factory in household help. Let me then recommend ASIMO from Honda ( ) and an augmented reality book for the kids to enjoy while ASIMOW is cleaning the home ( )

Ruth said...

i totally use Beth's trick mentioned above. one time i forgot to clean it off the wall when i left the bathroom and tim almost vomitted when saw it.


blame it on grandma meberg---she's the one with the think beautiful head of salt and pepper hair.

Lyz said...

If I end up with hair on my hands in the shower, I plaster it to the wall and try to wash it off. Because I can't stand touching it.

Ruth - just wait until you have a baby. You haven't MET revolting yet. (I mean the hair thing...babies are delightful!)

Noel said...

But why is _your own washed_ hair gross? It's clean and it's your own...certainly a big step above hair that's been against headrests on a number of airplanes and a rental car :-Q .

Noel said...

This morning as my beard trimmings drifted to the bottom of the tub, I did recall what I consider a gross hair phenomenon: the hair that gets caught and accumulates over a period of weeks in the drain-stop mechanism, constricting water flow so that one ends up standing in dirty water during a shower.

Our inexpensive, non-robotic solution to that female hair issue is the "ZipIt" :

Hannah B said...

LOL, Art was wondering what I was laughing at as I read this post. Although he knows Ruth anyone who has not tried to put that girls hair up in pony tail really has no idea. I would trade for her hair anyday, rmemeber how perfect her hair was for the Jennifer Anniston Haircut. Anyways about hairloss. My husband just about ralphed when he looked under our bed after we had Aidan and realized no it was not furry rodents under the bed just hair I was losing at night, it was on the pillowcases, it was in our mouths when we woke up. So i permed it... dont do that!