Saturday, June 7, 2008

Slacker Saturday the Third

Forwarded: Men Are Just Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one isjust too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - $5000. Tux rental -$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays i! ts original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.


Noel said...

One clarification: It's not a "garage", it's a "man cave". I just came in from mine where I was reading the newspaper in the nice chair with matching footstool my wife found during curb shopping a month ago.

I've had basicly the same hair style since 1980 or so. I had it a bit longer during grad school when I cut it myself. I've had my beard continuously since 1984. My wife has never seen my face clean-shaven.

mama.nichols4 said...

This is so true.. men just have it easy! Example: Ben and I are attending a retreat next week for his work. The last day of the retreat there is a formal awards dinner that he and I will be attending. He'll be wearing a suit, the same one he's wore for this event every year. On the other hand, I had to go shopping for another formal outfit. (not that I minded a lot, but post-baby bodies aren't always easy to dress!)

Aaron said...

Most of those are pretty general and don't always apply (my work shoes tear my feet up for the first couple weeks). But standing to pee and never being pregnant pretty much rule.