Monday, July 13, 2009

THAT title was short lived.

My reign came to a screeching halt the other day. First off, let me warn you that babies, boobs, and bikes do not mix well. NOT WELL AT ALL.
The day started well - I had all 3 kids with in at church, by myself. IN THE PEW - there's no Sunday School in the summer. (I found out later that I could have had Ben in a class, but oh well...) Everything went well, although I didn't really get a lot out of the sermon. Thanks to Angie for keeping an eye on my big kids when I had to exit to feed the little guy!

Aaron was working, so the kids and I just hung out at home the rest of the afternoon. Ben had gotten THIS:

the day before, so he was very eager to practice. Leah went swimming with a friend, and as Adam was still napping, I got Ben ready to cruise the sidewalks a bit. As he got going, I decided to run into the house to grab the baby monitor (you know, instead of leaving Adam entirely on his own in the house.) Then I realized it wouldn't fit in the outdoor outlet, so I checked for batteries - none were in it, so I had to find a screwdriver to open the battery compartment, locate the batteries...and by then Adam was bawling his head off upstairs and I didn't need the stupid thing anymore!
Remember that 3 year old on a bike? Trying to be a responsible parent, I grabbed all of the changing stuff for Adam, including a new onesie since his outfit was now way too warm for the weather, and headed out to the front lawn so I could keep an eye on the big brother. Adam is clearly suffering from starvation at this point, since he's wailing like crazy.
Ben was now all the way at Addie's house, which is our understood turning around spot. Unfortunately, he got stuck there and couldn't move forward. Instead of just getting off the bike and pushing it forward a bit, he starts yelling, "Moooommmmy! Moooommmy!" All the while Adam is also yelling, and I'm trying to shout to Ben that I can't come right now.
Aren't you jealous of our neighbors?
Well, I could see one of those lucky neighbors, one house away from Ben, was outside watering her flowers. She never turned to wave at me or anything, so I assume she thought that Ben was totally unsupervised. After what seemed like several minutes since Adam was STILL shrieking, (but was probably actually only 30 seconds), she walked over and rescued Ben, who then came sailing down the sidewalk towards home.

This neighbor happens to be a family-practice doctor. I'm totally going to be reported to social services.

ESPECIALLY, because after rescuing my child, she heads to the garage and is getting ready to go somewhere. During these preparations, I have started nursing Adam (with my cover!) and Ben has decided to take off again. I did yell several times for him to stop, but he either couldn't hear me or ignored me. (Potential optimist/pessimist test here, folks.) By now I can see the doctor's car start to back out of the garage, and Ben is halfway there, full steam ahead. FINALLY he hears me, after I've started walking towards him, still nursing Adam under the cover.

Ugh. After feeding Adam, I plunked him in the Baby Bjorn and walked with Ben while he biked again, making sure he learned how to get himself unstuck. The true gift of a younger sibling? Self-reliance.

Here's a couple more baby photos for those of you who are never satisfied:

Check out those cheeks! No, I don't know how much he weighs - not until his 2 month appointment. And he's only 5 weeks now.

Sorry, Mom and Dad. Had to include a "cute" photo of Adam - and LOOK! Dad's eyes are open!

Two quick stories on Leah, since she's not here to cover her ears and shriek. Yes, that is really what she does when I tell stories in front of her. It's lots of fun.

The other day we were at Target and I was looking for a specific brand of nursing bra recommended by a friend. While I'm standing there looking at a wall of "full-figured" bras - and realizing that I was NOT going to find anything for me there - Leah looks at one in front of her and says, "Look at those big boobs! Those are the biggest boobs I've ever seen!" and then gave it a good poke. Lots of chuckles for those shopping near us.

And then yesterday at church, she and a friend were goofing around before the service started. All of a sudden she very clearly exclaims, "You pinched my nipple!" Snicker, snicker, from the other parents around. I told Aaron about it later, and he asked what was she SUPPOSED to say? I said, "How about, ' You pinched me!'" He argued that nipple is not a bad word, and it WAS her was MY problem that I was embarrassed. Yes. Still. "Nipple" is not a church-appropriate word.

One more tidbit - My birthday is coming up next week, and I have discovered a side benefit of Modern-Day Jane. If Aaron buys me a steam mop and calls it a birthday present, I have threatened to report it on the blog! Haha! The POWER OF THE INTERNET!


Aaron said...

Adam has kind of a potato-lookin' head, doesn't he?

I hope Ben learns to do more bike stuff! Riding is awesome!

JJ and EJ said...

Oh boy! Two kids on wheels?! Hopefully you have a good stroller!

AJ said...

What's wrong with a steam mop? They are the in thing. Does this mean I can never buy domestic items as gifts? Why then are tools fine gifts for me? Sexist!

Jeannie said...

I wouldn't throw out your tiara just yet...

I'll never forget the days of simultaneously nursing a newborn and potty-training a little boy. TORTURE.

la shay said...

I second the mop internet exposure idea... I once got a DVD player from Joe, not only was it bought with a gift card he received on Christmas, which made it virtually free, but he had also mentioned a week prior to my B-day that he wanted one. HIs B-day is only 25 days after mine, he would have most likely got it from me...
I remind him of it atleast 2 times a year (Around my B-day and Christmas)