Yesterday's Part 1 post was so filled with details, I figured today I'd try to keep the whining to the bare bones. So I'll cover just the days that Aaron was gone, backtracking to Tuesday:
Day 1 (Tues): Bible study all morning. Working with mom on valance for kitchen window and with Adam to get him to nurse & ordering groceries online (this took over an hour, with all the other things interrupting). Extra 3 kids here for 1 1/2 hrs, then dinner, baths, and a late bedtime. Then I realized that Tuesdays are usually when I do all the laundry. Fail.
Day 2: Leah to school (this normal, of course, but usually there's an extra set of hands around to get breakfast on the table and hustle kids), gymnastics for Ben (he went with a friend, thank goodness!), to Target with Adam (which included an awesome few moments of breathing, along with a coffee & yogurt parfait), to JoAnn Fabrics to meet & pick up Ben, home to grab his boots, then to school to pick up Leah. THEN Mom came over and we actually got some sewing done on the valance, and I started laundry. Packed up the kids and headed to church for dinner (which was tater-tot hot dish. I didn't even argue, just fixed them pb&j's.) Was really, super tempted to dump Adam in the nursery, but kept him with me anyway. Then Mother Nature showed up. Ack. Got home, shoved the kids into bed, and then sewed the hems on the valance. Crashed into bed too late.
Day 3: (Thursday, Aaron's usual day off) After getting Leah to school and the garbage out (and BOY, was I proud of myself for that!) the boys and I headed to the grocery store tour. Then we went home for 20 minutes before leaving to get Leah. That afternoon I finally got a handle on the house - vacuumed the kitchen, finished laundry, washed dishes, etc. Dad came over to take Leah to gymnastics, the boys and I piled into the van to pick her up, and then Dad came back for supper and to help wrangle kids for baths again. That night I actually got a chance to breathe, and also to enjoy the sushi I had splurged on at the grocery store that morning. Oh yeah,and I cut out 9 baby toy giraffes (photos coming later?) and embroidered some little eyes on them while watching trash reality shows.
Day 4: The boys and I went to Target first thing and then over to Dinoland for playgroup. You wouldn't think that a place that actually encourages preschoolers to scream and run around would be relaxing, but it was. At least until the other 200 kids showed up. Then we headed out, and picked up pizza to eat with the other "morning friends" at school. Did some more housecleaning in the afternoon and wrote a couple of get-to-know-you quizzes for the party I hosted that evening - just for the moms from Leah's class. MY mom came to put the big kids to bed, and the other moms and I partied until 11:30pm. What a good time!
Day 5: SATURDAY! DADDY-COMES-HOME-DAY! Started off by sleeping in. Then fulfilled kids' request to head to the library. Lunch, scrub the bathrooms & tidy up for the potluck we hosted that night. Then it was off to the airport! There is nothing better than seeing your little ones waiting for you as you get off the plane, so I made sure we were there in time. Success! Adam was so happy to see Aaron, it was adorable. He just wanted to be held by Daddy for the rest of the day. I did not mind.
Friends showed up for the potluck about an hour and a half later, but it was a fun, relaxed group. Food was good, conversation was welcome. Best of all, the kids started breaking down around 7:30, so everyone headed home and OUR kids got to bed before 8pm! Then I got to sit and watch some tv with my husband. And breathe.
Honey, I hope that you don't take off again for AT LEAST a few months. Or until the kids are in college. You know, whatever.
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Any single parent survival tips? How do you manage to read the newspaper? Or eat anything?
I kept thinking that maybe I should have cleared my schedule while Aaron was gone, instead of filling it. But then I would have probably been lonely and depressed. Which do you lean towards? Planning distractions? Or leaving time for the extra duties?
Like a waterfall in slow motion, Part One
1 year ago
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4 comments:
oh gosh, i usually plan my days over kill and then when he does come home, i collapse. Not good, i need to be better at this & i'll get to practice in April when he's out of town for a work conference.
As for your other questions, i have no good answer since i'm mother of 1 not 3... and i don't read the newspaper.
If one's spouse travels a lot (eg like me 25-50% on average), the family develops routines and habits so Dad being gone is not exceptional. If I travel more than that for a sustained period, family relationships suffer even though I do phone home pretty much every night.
When my husband was deployed, I kept us busy. We had commitments every day, and I liked it. I had to kill myself to keep the house in order and everyone in clean clothes, but it was far better than being lonely and depressed. There's no "just getting by" when your spouse is gone for 14 months.
When my husband is gone now for a few days at a time, I use it as a reminder to thank and support our servicemembers and their families. Both make heartbreaking sacrifices for their country.
I always think surviving as a solo parent is about good planning, especially when you have more than 1 kid. I'm pretty neurotic about my schedule, and I think it's because I did spend so much time alone with my kids.
I'm just going to stop now, since I'm just rambling off-topic.
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