Friday, April 11, 2008

Or maybe they just died.

A house we are looking at tomorrow used to be sold "contingent on inspection". It is now on the market, no contingencies. Reasons that could be so, other than that the inspection went badly:

1) Too much yard to be maintained by a single elderly woman

2) That elderly woman decided that 3000 sq. ft. was too much for her to vacuum.

3) On seeing the trees in the backyard, they decided not to take responsibility for raking them every fall.

4) Too much noise from the neighborhood kids.

5) All that foot traffic on the way to the nearby park was really making a commotion.

6) Too much counter space in the kitchen for a family of one.

7) The family of 15 couldn't fit in the 5 bedrooms.

8)All that space for socializing put too much pressure on the family to entertain.

9) Too many updates left nothing for the handyman husband to repair

10) The location left too little use for the family's collection of sports cars.

Anything else you can think of? Any reason will be considered, as long as it's not a reason why we shouldn't buy the house.


Noel said...

(11) The snow melted (again) to reveal a toxic waste site instead of a lawn.

(12) The house ended up in the revised 100 year flood plain and potential buyer couldn't affort flood insurance on top of the mortgage.

(13) The potential buyer was trying to get to Fargo on American Airlines to Minneapolis and then drive from MSP to FAR through the April 11th snow storm. Instead, the buyer decided to set up residence in Terminal 3 at O'Hare airport.

(14) The buyer found out the house is under the standard flight routes for Nortwest Airlines to Minneapolis.

(15) Buyer did not get a Fargo bow licence for taking care of pesky deer.

(16) Buyer found out basement flooded in either 1997 or 2000 or both.

(17) Buyer found out radon radiation levels in basement exceeded 4 picocuries.

Lyz said...

NOEL! These were supposed to be reasons that WOULDN'T keep us from buying the house!

Help a girl out, here!

Noel said...

Let's see if I can redeem myself for not reading and hedding the original instructions...

(a) You are married to an atheletic, young man who is home enough to rake leaves in the fall and help with the 3,000 sq ft of vacuuming (vs a geeky, middle-aged traveler such as myself who is conveniently out of town on business at critical times).

(b) The variety of chemicals and the radon radiation will be helpful for science projects once the kids are in school.

(c) Sandbagging and sump pump manning brings a family closer together.

(d) Airplane noise is the only game in town now that trains in downtown are whistle free (not).

(e) Sandbagging is the Fargo version of a beach party and the Salvation Army will provide free food and beverages to those that come.

(f) Deer are nice because they will deadhead the flowers and keep the veggie garden from getting overgrown.

(g) Basement flooding just helps you decide to do that remodeling downstairs you were thinking about doing anyways.

So what's not to like??

and at least I didn't orignally post

(18) The buyer found out that with wind from the north, 6" snow ends up in a 6' drift immediately in front of the garage door.

And anyways, if the house is in North Fargo, life is so idyllic that the few minor problems I have mentioned pale in comparison to the benefits of living here :-) .

Will be praying for wisdom and peace in your decision making.

Suzi said...

19. Maybe the garage was too big because they recently traded in their huge SUVs for one tiny electric hybrid car.

And because they have now become an
eco-friendly family, they will not have snow blowers, lawn mowers or any other machines that have a gas motor.

And they decided that the house was too big (you said 3000 sf), so to put Christmas lights up will use too much electricity, not to mention the gigantic heating bills in the winter time.

JJ and EJ said...

Soooo... how was the house? Did you find out the real answer?

Noel said...

We were also going to ask you about the house when you were at the red light at 10th Str S and 13th Ave S this morning, but unfortunately we were diagonal to you and not next to you.

PS This is being posted from California, so you might check if Google Analytics reports that and then you can add it to your state collection.

mama.nichols4 said...

So... how did it go?

Was the family going green or had the elderly woman given up her love of gardening for a less substantial yard because she couldn't juggle the workout from the yard and all the food prep. on the massive countertops and vacuuming the large square footage?

Oh, the suspense!!!