Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Frumpy Frugality

1. Wear your clothes more than once. Funny story: I actually had this idea in second or third grade, when I decided that I would wear the same outfit every day until they "got dirty" - which I assume meant that I had gotten glue or marker on them, or something. Might have been one of the reasons my friends were few and far between.

Anyway. I read somewhere that you should wash whites after every wearing, but dark things, especially jeans, should be worn three times or so. And that was from the experts!

2. Get pregnant, wait 30 weeks, and after Braxton-Hicks contractions start, the baby starts stomping on your bladder every 30 seconds, and your hips & lower back hurt after standing for 10 minutes. You won't want to go shopping for at least 3 more months. Staying home watching television seems a whole lot more appealing.

3. Instead of going to the effort to make yourself a drink, just get water. It's better for you anyway, and takes a lot less effort.

4. No gym fees.

5. Makeup lasts forever if you only wear it three times (or less) a week. I've also read that makeup has an expiration date, and I'm sure my Mary Kay friends will be horrified, but I don't remember when I bought my foundation.

6. Grow your hair out. I also don't remember when I had my hair cut last. I think it was last summer before I went to Chicago - I definitely know I wasn't pregnant. By now, Aaron's haircut costs FAR outweigh mine.

So basically, if you see a waddling pregnant woman wearing dirty clothes, blotchy-faced, dead ended hair in a ponytail headed towards the bathroom, you won't need to question your guess.

It's me. Saving money.


Noel said...

I meet 5 of the 6. #2 is kind of tough for me.

Crystal said...

Blah ha ha! Your funniest post. Evah.

Anonymous said...

Whoa. Yet another thing we have in common. I've done all six of those. Scary.

Steph T

Aaron said...

Lol, when did Liz learn to be funny? This is good!

AJ said...

Good job Liz. Isn't being cynical fun? You might look different than you did 8 months ago, but you are still beautiful. Cue music......

Noel said...

AJ comes through again :-)

At least Lyz isn't substituting #2 with "has a greying beard and isn't buying "Just for Men". Looking at the flood of '97 era photos yesterday, I look about 25% younger.

Lyz said...

Aaron - You are a brat.

AJ - You are awesome.

Ruth said...

um...i've been doing the 'not washing things unless they are actually DIRTY' thing my entire life. in grad school i went two months without washing a pair of jeans. and believe me, they were in use.

i have acutally gotten to that stage of intamacy with tim where i will smell the armpits of his t-shirts to see if they are clean.

i know.

i know.

Hannah Laura said...

lol. mommies of the world unite!!!! So do you also go through the whole charade of telling the hubby exactly how much you are saving and how you are really keeping a tight end on things, all the while secretly upset about every pulled together, hair in place, tan mom who can pull off the matching sweat suit look. Sigh, back to that freezer full of frozen veggies and waiting for the weather to warm up so I can have fresh veggies from my "frugal" garden!