Monday, March 3, 2008

Law & Order: Preschool Crime Scene

Cue music.

The scene: The family room. Toys are everywhere, including the basket of stuffed animals that has been overturned.

The victim: Leah.

The perpetrator: Ben.

Leah has her arms full of Beanie Baby sized animals, including 3 puppies. Ben runs up and grabs one of the puppies. Leah immediately starts screaming and wailing, "No, Ben, it's MINE! Stop! No, Ben! AUGH!" The scene is repeated several times. Officer Mommy, responding to the call, realizes that the perp is only after one particular puppy, the beagle. She tries to negotiate a compromise, wherein Leah would allow Ben to have just that darn beagle. The victim insists that she needs ALL THREE puppies, of that EXACT size, even thought there is another puppy laying undisturbed by BOTH kids involved. It's bigger than the ones Leah has.

The victim insists (loudly, with much wailing and crying) that it's NOT FAIR of the perp to take the puppy she so clearly wants.

Let's review the facts.

Leah (victim): 5 stuffed animals - 3 puppies, a hippo and a kitty
Ben (perpetrator): ZERO stuffed animals.

Officer Mommy resolved the situation by giving the beagle to Ben and giving Leah jail time until she calmed down. Ben discarded the beagle as soon as Leah reported to jail.

Case closed.

(music)

5 comments:

nydampress said...

Brilliant post Liz!

It should be noted that I would behave exactly like Leah in this situation (only replace the toys with art supplies, or candy) and I am almost 27.

Aaron said...

I gustawed so hard when I read the part about Ben discarding the beagle.

mama.nichols4 said...

Oh dear... being a member of the mean mommies group is sooo hard. Poor kids! (I would have done something similar, sorry Leah!)

JJ and EJ said...

Awww! Poor Leah! I really enjoyed the post! : )

Ruth said...

duh duh! (those are what i think those law and order pizzacattos sound like)

where was jack mccoy when you needed him?

duh duh!